A FRIDGE FULL OF FOOD...

Happy New Year: To Resolve or Not to Resolve

I've spent so many years making huge, multi-page lists of goals, breaking them down all Franklin-Covey-ish into smaller goals, and those into smaller goals...and lasting the first few weeks keeping all those rules and regulations I've laid out for myself. And then I stop and feel the guilt, chastising myself to no end...that ends this year.

The one biggest goal for myself that has always rolled over each year is to publish. I have sold some short stories, a few craft patterns to magazines, etc., but with publishing the NICU knitting book I feel like I can relax. Not that I won't continue to write or knit, just that I can take the pressure off myself of that goal.  It was a personal milestone and now I can continue on, creating and writing and dreaming new projects.

Between that and all the personal things I've learned this year, I decided to make up a much easier goal list this year, the kind of resolutions that will be no problem to accomplish and that will generally give me a little slack to be kinder to myself. I think  that's the key. I've learned this year to be a little kinder to myself.

This is what I've learned in 2011:

Just because someone asks me to do something, I'm not obligated to to say "yes". A favor always has at least two answers:  "yes" and "no" and variations in between.  Saying "no" does not make me a bad person, nor is it a measure of my friendship or love.  Saying "no" does not mean I have a bad attitude, am selfish, or that I'm not a "giving" person.  However, on the heels of that, another thing I learned this year is that if I say No and the other person gets mad or demands to know why I can't/won't do the favor, that's a measure of THEIR friendship to me.

There are friends in my life that I get to spend relatively little time with due to family, jobs, distance, and life in general.  It doesn't mean I love those friends less or that our friendship is any less strong  because we're busy with the minutia of life.  On the other hand, there are acquaintances who I think of as friends who are only around when they want something from me or I'm convenient for them.  I have learned to trust my instincts.  The heart knows the difference between the two.

I cannot take on the world or be all things to all people, nor can I fix anyone else's life, especially when I can hardly cope with my own sometimes.  I have learned that when people talk to me about their problems what they mostly need is just someone supportive to listen, not someone to jump in and fix everything for them or to take on their problems.   I no longer feel like Atlas.  (No wonder I had back problems--the world is a heavy load!)

And the last thing I learned this year is that I really don't need to know everything bad about anybody. I don't even need to know everything at all about anybody. I've found that I really like relating to people at face value without gossip or negative thoughts rolling around in my head--it's so much more pleasant to assume everyone is nice and exactly what they appear to be, especially people whom I'm not particularly close to.

That's a lot of education that's been going on in my brain this year.

For 2012 my resolutions for my personal happiness are:

10)  Take longer baths.

9)  Smile at drama that plays out before me without becoming one of the cast.

8)  Knit more things for myself.

7)  Remember that two negatives only make a positive in multiplication.

6) Sleep in more, with no guilt.

5) Not give a crap at least twice/week about things that I have no control over.

4)  Take more walks.

3)  Share more time with family.

2)  Curse more creatively.

and 1) Eat more bacon.

 

 

Life as a Failed Easter Dessert

 

After hours, over half the day actually, of planning, mixing, kneading, chilling, boiling, dyeing, more rolling, more chilling, resting, mixing, rolling, filling, spreading, moving, shaping, pre-heating, cutting out decorations, egg washing, and sugar sprinkling, I slipped my multi-pound  humongo Easter masterpiece into the oven for it's hour-long bake and slumped down into my chair to watch TV and knit for my little Littles a bit while anticipating every sweet decadent pastry bite following Easter dinner.

And that's exactly how it would have ended in a movie, with a perfectly made up, but with just enough dusting of flour on one perfectly blushed cheekbone to let us know how HARD Julia Roberts worked in creating that amazing pastry using no experience and only the drive of personal willpower all the while squeezed into a niney minute framework as she pulled out the glorious, perfectly browned orgasmic dessert from her fake movie set oven.

Well kids...I ain't Julia Roberts. Nor am I Martha Stewart.  The reality in my life turned out to be that fifteen minutes after turning over my baby to that monster freak called my oven, I physically followed a slightly acrid and puzzling scent into my real working kitchen to see black smoking pouring out of the oven vent and opened the door to see my creation melting and dripping everywhere like the Wicked Witch of the West after a shower.

Pissed off? You betcha.  All that work and money for ingredients wasted, but the more than that, my hope was mocked. That's what hurt the most.  I was hugely disappointed but--evenutally--after releasing my annoyance with a good slam of the oven door, stomping out of the kitchen, and crying like a big baby in my bedroom for fifteen minutes,I could also see that as many things that do go well for me in the kitchen even when attempting dishes I've never prepared before, the Vegas odds are there's going to be a few failures along the way as well. When I had a chance to stop and think about it objectively, I realized that the bigger truth in this is that through this kitchen disaster I've learned more unforgettable baking lessons in one afternoon than I've learned in the last year from my successes.  That is the definition of experience. 

Baking Bread

BAKING BREAD    

By Carol Lynn Pearson  in "Women I Have Known and Been"

There seemed more accusation

Than admiration

In Vivian's voice

When she said,

"Well, I wish I had time

to bake bread!"

And so sometimes when

The loaves were in the oven

And Vivian was at the door

Louise mumbled something about

Another bake sale again

And never even tried to explain

Her near-religious ritual:

How the flour on her fingers

Was the sun and the rain

And the earth

How the thump of her palms

On the dough

Was the dance of women

On the ancient threshing floor

How the smell of the baking

Leavened her

And left her believing that

We rise, we rise

And

How the cutting 

Of the first warm slice

For the first child home

Made her a bounterous goddess

With life in her hand. 

Quote from the Las Vegas Review-Journal

THE PUNCH LINE

An e-mail signed "Venetian bartender" says US Airways pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger has spawned a new cocktail -- The Sully Martini: "Two shots of Grey Goose and a big splash of water."

 

Thought for the Day

This quote has absolutely nothing to do with food other than the blessing that I have found through meeting so many nice people by blogging. 

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia, American Author

 

I have to sleep today, having worked the weekend, but I have a lot of great recipes this week like the bread pudding I took to work last night and more.

(Sorry for the small type but I can't get Typepad to publish the quote the way I want it and I've been up for over 24 hours now so I'm on the verge of losing my ever-lovin' shit over this inanimate box if I keep messing with it.  I hate computers some days. They are evil and have a mind of their own. Nighty night.)

Welcome 2009

 "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." -- Edith Lovejoy Pierce
 

Cartoon of the Day

Food Quote for the Day

 

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.  ~Earl Wilson

Food Quote of the Day

               

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.  ~Alfred E. Newman

Gastritis update:  My stomach's still queasy but I should be back to cooking within a day or two.  There will be new food posts sometime soon.

Quotes for Food: "I gave him cheeeeeeeese."

Cheese--milk's leap toward immortality.
- - - Clifton Fadiman