No, Giada! No!

While I'm still sick, cranky, and very whiny from this virus from hell that I've gotten...I admit I've been sitting on my butt alot watching Food Network. Yesterday, in a rerun show from last year, Giada showed Kid-centered Food in a meal it looks like she prepared for her nieces and nephews. Not quite sure because I didn't get in on the first of it.

The part I saw was where she put together cupcakes from a boxed mix, which is fine. I have no quibble with that if it's done right.  The cupcake papers she used were adorable! Little scalloped edges with a flower-ish pink and red design. So cute!  She filled the cups up 3/4 full and then said "Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes."  What the hell?  25 minutes for a cupcake?

I bake them for HALF that time usually, 17 minutes tops.  Puh-leaze.  Like wanting to see the trainwreck, I waited through the commercial to see them when they came out.  Yep.  Had I not known what they were I would have thought they were corn muffins, all BROWNED.  Yuck!  She'd made a comment about the baking papers that they "keep the little cakes moist".  Uhhhh...well...not when they've gotten the life baked out of them.

Okay.  I've said my piece.  I'm calm-ish now. You have to remember my Mom and the old "White cake should be white cake" thing drilled into my head since I was eight years old.  White cake that's corn muffin brown? I don't think so.

So now that I'm totally criticizing her, I laughed out loud when she made a poured fondant and then tried to knife it onto the cupcake tops.  Doesn't work so well.  The easiest way to get a poured fondant to work on a mounded shaped cupcake is to take the cupcake in your dominant hand, flip it upside down, dip it up to the cupcake paper in the fondant, and then pull it out and let it hang upside down in your and hand for a few seconds to let the excess fall back into the bowl. Then with a simple flick of the wrist before flipping it over, the icing will cover nicely and uniformly, unlike the drippy mess from a knife.

Sigh. Why doesn't she ask me to consult on these things?  :-)  Huh? Why? Oh yeah. Because I'm nobody. That's why!  (Big grin)

And on a side note: I'm really tired of looking at her bosoms.  She is a beautiful woman but when her shirts are so low cut she has to bend at the knees with a straight back to put something in the oven or she's going to flash the camera...the shirts are too low cut.  Pretty woman is one thing.  Food whore for the network is another.

Comments

[Dianne]

LOL I see things like that on cooking shows all the time and it makes you wonder. Or they'll say something like add 1 tablespoon and clearly what they added was more like 1/2 a cup! :)

[Guido]

Glenna - thought you might be interested in this simple recipe. Goes great on pancakes, waffles, and cheesecake.

Syrup-Banana

4 medium bananas, (VERY ripe) peeled, divided
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
2/3 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1/4 cup water
A pinch or two of cardamom
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Cut 4 bananas into 1/4-inch-thick rounds. Combine 1/4 cup melted butter, 1/2 cup sugar, and 1/4 cup water in heavy large skillet. Boil over medium-high heat until mixture thickens slightly, about 2 minutes. Stir in vanilla extract and cardamon. Mash. Bring to slow boil. Add corn starch and water if necessary to thicken. Strain through sieve. Refrigerate.

[Glenna]

Dianne--I know. Actually, I watched Alton do a whole show on baking cakes and was horrified. His "white" cake was darker than her cupcakes! Ick!

Brian--Thanks! Looks fantastic!

[Jessica]

Ugh... my husband and I can't watch her because I'm so sick of having her girls watching me where ever I am in the room...

My husband thinks it's so that no one notices her nose :P

[sher]

Do not bake your cakes too long around Glenna! :):) I like Giada, but the thing that drives me crazy is the way she pulls that weird shark-like grimace as she bites into food. Heaven forbid that she gets any food on her lips. Now, Nigella on the other hand, doesn't care if it smears all over her face.....

[Butta Buns]

Thank you for this criticism of her ubiquitous oob flashing, it validates my own bitterness about seeing her in low cut tops on every freaking episode!

[Glenna]

Jessica--That is so mean...and yet hilarious! Hee hee.

Sher--That's right, dammit!
Oh man, you're so right! She does do that weird big mouth bite so her lipstick won't be touched. Ooooh, I'm going to think of that every time I see here from now on!

BB--Hey, all of you validate me. She's a lovely woman but there is a limit. I was watching her yesterday and her shirt was unbutton to BELOW her boobs. It's ridiculous.

[Brave Sir Robin]

I'm really tired of looking at her bosoms

What? Oh! I guess I never noticed them.

:)

Ok - I'll be the contrarian and say I for one don't mind the boobs.

My husband thinks it's so that no one notices her nose :P

Actually, it her head that is GI-NORMOUS!!

[Glenna]

Robin--snicker, that was both mean and funny--high five!

[sid]

Nice photographs!

Sid

[Glenna]

Thanks Sid!

[HarryK]

This isn't exactly the same, but your tale of Giada overbaking something reminds me of another FN star and a recipe.

Last month I made oxtail stew for the first time. Three hours was not enough to get the meat tender. It took four hours and then it was like butter in your mouth!

Yet two nights ago watching an old Emeril Live show, Emeril made oxtail stew and said "and it's done in 90 minutes". I know that is simply impossible. And his oxtails looked the same as mine (size, weight, thickness, etc). If you listened to his instructions they would have had to have tasted like horse leather.

What IS with these cooks and chefs with their "strange" times and instructions that just don't compare with "true life"?? Either burn the cupcake or make leathery beef? How can they tell people these things, give these instructions in their recipes?

I really don't understand it.

[Glenna]

Harry--I know what you mean. I've had other recipes do that kind of thing and it's a pain when you're trying the recipe for the first time and can't serve dinner until way late. You'd think they'd check the recipes better. There was a recipe on Tyler Florence's show for lasagna that I was going to try but the recipe they gave as being from that show wasn't even close to having the same ingredients or instructions as what was on the show.

[Jill]

"Pretty woman is one thing. Food whore for the network is another."

Hee hee! You've made me giggle and now my co-workers wonder what I'm up to.

[Glenna]

Jill--I love that! Score!