New Subject: Comments

Hey, I've got a question for all of you.  How many of you have had people leave snotty comments on your blog?  I've only had a couple in the year I've been blogging so I feel pretty lucky. One guy was offended by a cartoon I posted, which is fine, senses of humor are different so that didn't bother me all that much. But recently someone from a google referral left a comment about one of my cakes saying that he/she didn't like any of my choices: colors, flowers, design, or techniques,  and then ended saying that IF I charged "cheapo rates instead of professional rates" then he/she said it was "okay, I suppose." 

Okay, everyone has an opinion.  I don't mind a non-flattering comment nearly as much as I mind that it was anonymous, the email address was fake, and the fact that it was so snotty. 

I can understand opposition if someone writes an opinion blog and invites people to comment. There's plenty of room for disagreements if they're made in an adult fashion.  But I don't understand why anyone would go onto someone's personal blog or personal food blog and leave a snotty, negative comment. 

I've seen a few blogs where I'm not interested in that person's recipes or style at all.  Do I take the five minutes to leave a comment and tell them they suck?  Of course not.  If I don't care for the blog I don't bookmark it.  I don't go back.  No big deal.  I would never leave a hateful comment.  That's just rude.  We all put a lot of time and effort into our blogs and I appreciate the effort it takes to run a blog from running my own, not to mention, that I don't have enough ego to think that I'm the one and only arbiter of taste and that my opinion is so important that I need to make sure that some person knows that I don't like the looks of their food.

Does anyone else find trolling the internet to make negative comments an odd thing to do?  What a waste of energy. Not to mention, not nice.    I was raised that if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all...unless it's gossip and then talk loudly.  Or as Kathy Griffin would say "I talk behind people's backs.  I have manners."  I'm kidding but you know what I mean.  If I ask a question then I expect people to be honest but I don't understand why anyone would go out of their way to be personally insulting just to be personally insulting. That attitude makes no sense to me.

I'd love to hear everyone else's experiences with this kind of thing.

Comments

[Deborah Dowd]

I always want to improve my blog, so constructive comments are always welcome, however, what you describe does not focus on improving your blog or your food. I think the only way some people can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. If I don't like a blogs style, or food, or approach, I just don't frequent it. There are lots of great blogs that I don't visit regularly because they just don't hold anything for me. Personal choice, that's all. I do not like anonymous negative comments- I see them as cowardly.

[Jenny]

I've had some weird and insulting posts to my blog (currently in abeyance): I always think they're just people with too much time on their hands. I rarely comment on blogs; I save recipes and stuff, but if all I want to say is "ooh, that looks yummy", it seems a bit pointless.

I wouldn't worry about this sort of idiot - especially not when they're being anonymous!

[DaviMack]

I think that everybody has them, some time or other. The thing, though, is to be able to differentiate. Do you have a relationship with the person? Do you read their blog? If not, well, chalk them up to being an idiot, track down their IP address in your site statistics log, and remember them. Maybe even block their specific IP address, if you can do that with your provider.

Saying "ooh, that looks yummy" is one of the things that I try to do, actually, especially on blogs which don't get many comments. I look at it as sort of payment for me getting the pleasure of reading their blog - and it's always just nice to let the blogger know that there's somebody out there reading.

[Raaga]

I've never had anyone leave a rude comment, nor have I done it to anyone. But my non food blog does open up debates, which are welcome. I leave a comment that is usually positive and very rarely neutral. Just to let the person know that I was there. Like I am leaving my little prints here :-)

But I did go through your posts and find your blog nice. The pictures, the write-ups. And I am waiting for the WBB#14 announcement :-) Can't wait to see what that is.

[Mehgan]

The only comments I've gotten that I could have done without are spam comments. This one person, knicksgirl, or something like that, leaves me the same spam comment everytime I make a new post. It's so annoying!!

Being so new to the whole blogging world, I appreciate any positive comment that I get. A simple "That looks good" or "Thanks for the recipe" always makes my day. I know at least someone is interested, especially since I know that I have a lot of posts that are commentless.

But, the ridiculous and mean comments are so rude, I can't believe someone would be that mean.

[Kathe]

I don't comprehend negativity for the sake of negativity either.

I personally feel if you dislike something someone else has done that your opinion is your opinion and that’s a-ok; If however you feel the need to express your dislike you should at the very least suggest what you might have done differently thereby making the criticism constructive.... and at the very, VERY least you should include your real information. That’s netiquette!

I don't understand the point of this particular persons comment. It was hurtful and rude and was obviously left by someone who doesn’t deserve your time or attention.

In short, I'm all for constructive criticism and debate! You can learn a lot from other people.

And in happier, more inspirational news, I filed the image (in my brain) of some cupcakes you made and used them as inspiration for some I made recently! Yay cupcakes! Yay inspiration! You rock!

Pretty cupcakes inspired by you:
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a140/katheflynn/cupcakes1.jpg

[Katiez]

I've been lucky, I guess, no bad comments (the odd spam, now and then). As you say, what a waste of time and energy just to be negative. It's not like the world is going to come and read the comment to see how witty it was....
Chalk it up to immaturity, then forget it!
(That's why we have the 'unpublish' option, right?)

[Kalyn]

I've had a few comments that were kind of critical, but only a few that were downright rude. I wouldn't hesitate to delete a rude comment. It's your blog, you have the right to control what gets posted.

How oculd anyone criticize you anyway? They must have no taste!

[Butta Buns]

I've had a lot of experience with trolls, blatant a$$holes, and a hacker from my first blog which is the reason why I shut it down. Then there was the very special case of the numb nuts who started a counter blog against mine and a friend who has a controversial site. She gets full on hate mail nearly every day and some people have even tried to find her house. After my own experiences and hers, I've made it a policy to never publish my name, location, post current pics, or give any other personal information.

It sucks and really inhibits my writing but I'd rather not have to worry that these nucking fassholes show up in real life.

Trolls are all over the Internet and it's an inevitable part of blogging. I haven't had any problems since my last two moves and am enjoying the quiet though it's not nearly as fun as before.

My way of dealing with it at first was to not publish any of their junk, I've always set my preferences so that I have to release comments from a cue before they show up on posts. It does sting at first but just ignore it and shut them down. Constructive criticism is all good but if it gets hurtful or blatatnly trollish, shut them down. Most troublemakers stop there. I know a lot of bloggers will call out any haters by building a seperate post on the comment in question, but IMHO I don't think it's worth giving them air time.

[Butta Buns]

PS It is very strange to think of someone who's so GD bored or malicious that they surf the 'net and leave hate comments. They're cowards and probably can't take a punch to the face, so they dump all their bitterness where they think people can't touch them.

[Glenna]

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and opinions. Like most of you, a constructive comment is one thing, and quite frankly on that kind of thing a personal email would be welcome. Anything that improves a recipe or my website would be welcome in a heart beat, but for someone to just snipe and run under and alias is rude and wussy, quite frankly. My feeling is that if you have something to say it and are going to say it out loud, then have the guts to sign your name to it.

And Butta Buns--damn! So sorry you've been through all that! I feel blessed compared to the creeps you've put up with!

Again, thanks so much for your opinions. This feels like another one of those things where we all show our friendship and a united front against people who are out to ruin a good thing.

[Hazel]

Gee, that reminds me of my sister. Not your loss just hers and most of those people go through life that way. How sad for them. You have a very up and positive personality, just consider the source. It takes all kind to make the world go around.

[Katie]

I haven't had a snotty comment yet (if you bar some comments my immature little sister made, just to annoy me) but I don't doubt that I will be hit with one at any point. Unfortunately there are some people who find it easy to hide behind a computer and be more loose with their words - they don't care if they offend the person because with a click of the mouse that blog is lost, in some cases, forever, and they might not even care about reading replies or backlash.

It's sad, but it's also a part of life for people (like us) who put blogs online and open up comments to everyone. It's sad that someone does that, but you've got to just realise that it's not a personal reflection on you - it's them, not you. Obviously that day they felt they wanted a fight or a rise out of someone - childish, yes.

[Glenna]

Hazel and Katie--Sisters....don't get me started. Although mine is finally in her 30's turning a big corner.

[candy]

i got a weird/snotty comment on an personal blog (not my food one) but it was from a bitter ex-girlfriend of my then-boyfriend (now husband)so i don't think it really counts. but i did create a new blog that she wouldn't be able to find around the time we started planning our wedding to be on the safe side.

i get so few comments on my food blog that i'd almost welcome a snotty comment because at least it would be a comment! it just seems so strange to me that anyone would have something mean to say about food (or in this case, just a picture of food). sounds like the guy needs to get a life.

[Trekkie]

No bad or rude comments, but I did have a spate of comments inviting me to buy various, ahem, pharmaceuticals and associated 'toys'. Since then, I've read every comment before it's appeared to weed those types ut, but everything else has appeared.

[ErinD]

I am sorry you got those mean comments!

Yes, I have had a very mean comment on my blog. I mentioned that I would be posting more soon, but my sciatica and medical problems had kept me from the blog. Well, I get this comment, and from another blogger no less, she left her name and everything, telling me, that "I should add hypochondria to my list of ailments, and to suck it up and get on with life!"
Can you believe she would be so rude? I was just so amazed and hurt, and mad too! I told her hey, I didn't make up these medical problems, my doctors told me I had them! And I had many friends, and other bloggers who gave me a lot of support which was so very sweet, and made me feel so much better.
I suppose I could have just deleted the comment, but I felt like I wanted to defend myself, what she did wasn't right.
She finally deleted her comment herself.

I like your thoughts on this, and I don't understand either why people do this. Yes, it is one thing on a debate blog, but on a personal blog it's just mean. If I don't like or agree with someone's blog I just move on.

I hope you don't have anymore mean comments! :O)

Love your blog!

[Glenna]

Trekkie--I'm happy to get ads for gmc trucks!!!

Erin--That is REALLY mean! I don't get why people feel the need to express stuff like that.

[Fruittart]

*sigh* What is _with_ some people? Kind of like my stalker neighbor -- nothing better to do??

Aside from the 2,143 real spam messages on my blog that wordpress catches and dumps, I've only had one mean-spirited person who left a message saying, "That cake just looks d*mn ugly but I suppose I could eat it if I had to." Um, really? Thanks for getting that off your chest and sharing it with us. *delete* That feels much better.

Initially I would only approve comments from people I knew personally but then my blog started getting a bit more popular and I started poking around other blogs (like here) so now I just moderate the comments so I can delete any spam that isn't filtered and nastygrams that might come along. I don't really care if you don't like what I make, but just being insulting is neither good manners nor helpful to anyone. As a fickle blog owner, I reserve the right to boot out the unwelcome comments. ;-)

[Alisha]

I haven't had any mean posts [yet], but once in a while I get really bad spam. This last week I got one that was about slavery and prostitution that was about 100 lines long. Weird, weird.

I'm also of the mind if you don't have anything nice to say then don't post. Besides, what joy does it bring to annoy someone else? (Especially people you don't know!)

[Glenna]

Fruittart--totally agree with you. I don't mind if someone shows another side to what I'm saying or doing but the whole "you suck" thing is not welcome.

Alisha--I've been getting more of those SPAM kind of comments too. It's very annoying!

[Muffin]

I'm so sorry that someone has left you comments like that. I think its part of being one of "the cool kids" though, and like my husband says, When you start getting popular, you're bound to attract some jealous onlookers.

I think that's all it really is. If they weren't jealous, they wouldn't bother leaving comments like that. I know I've had quite a few. Mostly they're from people saying "I tried this recipe and it didn't make enough cupcakes" even though I clearly state that it all depends on the size of your cupcake tin, and I reference my amounts as "standard size". I had one particularly rude comment from someone who apparently tried one of my recipes, told me that the flavour was bland, and that it wasn't worth the time and effort it took to make the item, and my baking temperature was way off, blah blah.. Ended up this person was contacting me from another country, and I had apparently forgotten to put "Fahrenheit" after my temperature, and they apparently thought they were supposed to bake the cookies on the surface of the sun.

For a while I even had a disclaimer that read "bake at your own risk" But overall, this was one person out of so many others that try my recipes and enjoy them. I can't control the fact that she didn't like the flavour of the particular cookie, And it stupid of her to think that something to my taste would automatically fit hers.

Just take it with a grain of salt, and realize that if anyone else sees the comment, its not going to affect their opinion of you or your blog, because we keep coming back for a reason, and thats because we enjoy reading what you have to write.

[Glenna]

Muffin--"bake the cookies on the surface of the sun"--OMG, that had my laughing out LOUD and reading it to my husband. I can't believe people would be so ignorant, but on the other hand, yeah, I do. So sorry about your "supporters", sure makes me feel better about my one or two measely nasty comments.

[Chris]

Some people...Wacko. I am sorry about icky comments. I have only gotten 2 weird ones and I deleted both. One was sooooo long and dogged on every race, creed, age, etc. Totally random and off the wall.

[John]

Hi Glenna,

Your topic points out one of the worst things about the blogosphere. Are you familiar with the term "trolling?" (see Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trolling) - There has never been a better instrument than the Internet to facilitate self-loathing people whose sole purpose seems to be to spread as much poison as they possibly can. Blogs give them a global forum to throw their tantrums. These people are not worth worrying about. They're the same people that no one wants to know in the real world for the same reason. Internet help forums are famous for trolls. They love to set there and snipe, bashing you with how stupid you are. Many of them are smart enough to do this in a manner that isn't blatantly offensive, only offensive "between the lines;" just enough to make them feel good (making you feel bad) and not get them banned.