Herbalicious Part II: Things I do that you SHOULD NOT try at home....

           Yes?                       No!

You know how you do something once and it seems pretty good so the next time you do it you think bigger and better and more elaborate because we all know that, in America, if one is good then two is better.  If small is good then big scale is even "gooder". Right?  Wrong. Just when I was thinking I was so cool and all J Lo in my heart "that", I found out that amazingly I was wrong. I am not cool and I was wrong about the oils. This time.  So don't do that the way I did it...everybody pinkie promise...

In the past what I have done is always used nice extra virgin olive oil and branch or two of rosemary or several sprigs of thyme and everything was lovely.  You know,  first, I don't think the canola oil works so hot.  It got cloudy pretty fast in the one that was the thyme only. That surprised me a little.  My precious canola oil let me down. But the big bad boy was what I did this time with the peppers.  Slicing them like that seemed like a nice thought (that I shouldn't have been thought in the first place) at the time that went horribly wrong in the end.  It's really cool to look at, now, though.  When you're in the neighborhood, run by the house, we'll drink tea, eat cookies and watch the bottle that used to look like the photo above that now mysteriously looks like my microbiology final exam clostridium experiment or the sputum I suction out of incredibly sick people.

So that whole throw anything in the oil bottle was, admittedly, not such a good idea. I already knew I was going to write this post and "take it back" but then, this morning before my Dr. Pepper kicked my brain on, I got this email from a reader who said "Look, dumbass, raw garlic was completely stupid on your part.  Pull your head out of your ass, quit spending so much time on your personal blog (G's Spot) ranting about Paris Hilton, running ads for imaginary "Prom'doms", and talking about the radiologist leaning on your cooter, so you can  go tell these people to take a good hard look at who they're getting their ideas from and pick somebody else to emulate before they hurt themselves."  Juuuuuust kidding, Laura. It was one of the sweetest emails I've ever gotten. So nice, in fact, that I'm printing it out on pink paper and having it framed at Michael's.  Normally the rest of you snarks are much more brutal. :-))))

Okay, so are we all clear on that?  A few dried rosemary leaves in the olive oil is okay.  Following my lead and using raw garlic or cut raw vegetables is a science experiment and a trip to the emergency room waiting to happen.  But I have to admit that pepper bottle in particular is pretty cool looking. I might give it a few days and a take a pic...or I might just wait until the gas build up from the bacteria blows the top off.  Seriously. There's foam rising to the top of the bottle, I kid you not. The cleanliness of my kitchen probably has limited shelf life if I don't get rid of that thing soon.

On the other hand...thinking out loud... if I ever decide to take my life in my own hands (after all I am pretty friendly with the ER docs now that I work there) again...hmmm...here's how I might do it...  canola oil can be kept in the fridge...but then you have to move the shelves to accommodate the dastardly tall bottle...and...and...screw it...that's too much work and I'm way too lazy.  Just look at my original post, say "no", and wander on about your business.  Not in the hall of fame of good ideas.

I'll do some research and post a third part in the next week or so with some good ways of handling this.

But as a reward for having read all this ranting apology, click below if and only if you'd like to have a naughty laugh....it's only clipart but it's a guaranteed laugh if you promise not to be offended....

Comments

[Auntie Miranda]

This was so much fun I can hardly wait for the VINEGAR lessons. You're a hoot!

[sher]

LOL!! I didn't know it was wrong either!!!! Being immobile certainly sharpens your wit!!!

[Jennifer DiCamillo]

I laughed out loud at this post, Glenna. Too funny.

Kitchens are the best place to do experiments, science or otherwise, imo. Who hasn't grown some sort of bacteria by surprise at some time in their life?

I have to say I VOTE NO ON CANOLA OIL. It is not half as "body smart" as some canola oil sellers would have us believe. If you heat it, it is carcinogenic. HELLO. There's a heads up. Something is not right with that oil.

I vote for Extra Light Olive Oil for everything. Including Dieting. If you take a tablespoon of it at night and when you wake up, you won't be half as hungry and you'll find your skin and hair healthier, less dry.

You never hear of essential anything but oils, do you?

Okay. Personally, I have my own list of essentials: Chocolate. Sex. Chocolate. Water. Sex. More Chocolate, water and sex....

[Glenna]

Miranda--Perhaps I should stay out of the effusion business before I get into more trouble...:-)

Sher--I know. Okay, it makes sense after I thought about that maybe raw garlic and cut veggies weren't an ideal way to go, but hey, at the time it seemed like a good idea!

Jennifer--I like your list of essentials!!!!!

[Jeff]

I'm deeply offended by that clipart!! hehe j/k

[Glenna]

Funny, I can see your grin from here!

[Susan]

So, that habanero oil really IS a Pandora's bottle after all!!!

[Glenna]

You're right! Ha! That's funny!

[TexanNewYorker]

So . . . can we get a picture of the "after" products in this lesson? As in what those bottles look like now that they've morphed and spawned colonies of inedible life?

[Glenna]

Kyleen--Mmmmm...perhaps....that would be fun. The pepepr one is still looking pretty nasty but it hasn't bubbled over yet so I haven't thrown it away. That's probably worth a pic, eh?

[Lisa]

Ha! Well, we've all learned a little something, haven't we? I tried making an infused oil once; can't remember exactly what happened, but it wasn't good. Not as easy as it seems!

[Glenna]

Not quite no, especially when you try to jack it up and get complicated.