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November 14, 2006



Good for you, Glenna. Some people just don't get it. Ever. (Don't ask me how I know this.)


I love Cooks Illustrated. I always find that their recipes are terrific. And I do like the idea of precooking the potatoes. The picture looks fabulous.

And I was laughing all the way through the section on Picky Friends. Or should I say "Friends"? And there is no mystery why they had almost no friends. No mystery at all.


Unbelievable. Some people are really impossible. I used to cater houseboat trips so I know how demanding people can be. I had a person who swore she was "allergic" to onions, and yet I noticed when she accidentally ate something with them in, she was fine. From then on I didn't worry about leaving them out. Never a problem. Sounds like good riddance for your so-called friends.

The potatoes sound divine. Of course, potatoes are high on the glycemic index, but you might not know that parboiling would make them a bit better for South Beach, removes some of the starch.


Wow! That chick would have never lasted that long with our family. None of us have problems telling a-holes where to get off. And I would have loved to see her try that with my friend Gail. Boy-howdy!

We have one friend who is a very picky eater -
he gets chicken strips because "he doesn't do the bone thing"
he refuses to eat mayo or anything that contains mayo
among other things...

His redeeming trait - "I know I have food issues and don't bother people with them" He will call ahead and see what I am making and bring his own dinner if he doesn't like what I am making. And I am cool with the fact that he accepts responsibility for his own food weirdness.

As far as your cheesy taters go - Yum yum...


Yum!! Where's the ham?? ;)


Kyleen--Thanks. I hate losing friendships but of course the obvious question is how much of a friendship was it to start with?

Sher--LOVE this cookbook and the way they explain everything and how they came to the conclusions on their recipes. It's like a real left-brainers view on cooking.

Kayln--Oh yeah. The Food Whore kind of stuff all the way. People are only amazing in that they have no boundaries!

Rosie--That's perfect. I have no problem with someone who's aware they're a pain in the butt and takes responsibility for it. Bring his own food. Great. You can live with that.

Jeff--No kidding! That's EXACTLY what Gene said! He got hamburger instead. LOL!


Loved your post Glenna. I don't find your inability to give Jane the heave-ho far beyond what anyone should have to endure Whimpy. I say you are a warm, caring, big-hearted, optimistic person who values her friends. That said, good for you for finally standing up for yourself.


Christine--Thanks. That's really sweet. I appreciate that.


Great story! It's amazing what we put up with when it's all so obvious in hindsight!
As someone with food allergies (very few) I have learned to say 'no, thank you' to what I can't eat (on rare occasions) and eat lots of and praise highly what I can.
I have two dinner guest complaints: Those that sit down to table and comment about "the huge lunch they had so thye're not at all hungry" and the ones that make no comments at all about anything, not even a 'thank you'.
Oh yeah, the potatoes? On my list for the weekend...


Katie--You get it. I have no problem with real allergies. It's the people who don't appreciate the effort and love you put into it that drive me batshit! :-)

The Food Whore

See... they are everywhere.


Hmm, I have never had homemade scalloped potatoes. Only box mix growing up, which scared me off them forever.


Garrett--the boxes are GROSS! LOL! Try them one time from scratch and from this recipe and you'll have an appreciation for them, I promise!

Thanks for commenting!

michael jones

That was really interesting post! I like the picture too! I am on some picky eater diet and i think that your article will help me with some issues!


Thanks, Michael!


You could be my friend anytime and I'd never complain about a free meal from such a nice person. geeez what a nasty person she was. oh well.................


Did you bake the bread in the photo? If so could you give me the recipe.


I'm making this as I type, my potatoes are simmering in the Dutch oven and I am SO glad I found your post. I went through my copies of Cook's Illustrated and it didn't jump out right away...so I decided to go online. I am using dried Thyme as the grocery store was closed and Wal-mart was out of the fresh herbs. I'm using a wonderful Gruyere mixed with aged cheddar. My youngest son also does not like cheese and the yellow colour would turn him off. I will be crossing my fingers.

I also am glad that you posted your horror story on your unfortunately ill mannered "friend". I may have one of those in my neighbourhood currently. Last time we got together I made a sinfully delicious bread pudding, whiskey sauce to die for (used Dh's good stuff) and loaded with plump raisins and roasted pecans. She looked at it, then snubbed her nose at the pudding saying that Sorry, no! I don't like raisins OR pecans. At another time she decided the fantastic perogies she was tasting were not okay because she could taste the onions and she HATED onions. I am puzzled, the demo lady had chopped the onions and was frying them in plain sight right next to all those cheesy perogies. I can't wait to see what else she does not eat:)

I think one of the best things in life is to find someone who is as much a food fanatic as one is, that way our "interesting" ways aren't too much of a shock for them.

Truly her loss, I have never dieted BTW and now I may have to...but it's SO hard....I really love great food!

Thanks for making my Easter meal a wonderful one. Time to put the potatoes in the oven!

Suzanne at :: Adventures In Daily Living ::


(Jane, not the potatoes)


The idea of Havarti instead of Cheddar, I really like. I usually use the bay and thyme myself. And the photo of the finished product is great. Maybe not a Broccoli and RIce Casserole nice, but, nice! LOL


The potatoes look great. Do you have an equally great recipe for cornmeal muffins?


*Thank You* for making me laugh-out-loud!

I came online searching for a scalloped potato recipe, and came across this article...

I love your sense of humour! :) Not only do I have a great recipe now, I also have a new blog to read!

Thanks again ...and that "lady" sounds like a real biz-natch! No wonder she has no friends, who would put up with that snotty attitude?! :oS Augh. People.

Carmen Gonzales

Hi this post about your friend had me cracking up, what a loony bird lol, she wouldnt have lasted long around me hehe, I just made your scalloped potatoes and got RAVE reviews from my hubby. I posted it at my blog with a link to your blog. Thanks so much for the great recipe, its a keeper for sure


Heather--Thanks! Look forward to "seeing" you around the water cooler.

Carmen--You know, you guys have helped me let go of my anger and see just how ridiculous the whole thing was!

Carmen Gonzales

I really shouldnt admit this lmao but I just made another batch of these potatoes, I doubled the recipe and they are already half gone lol, they are divine, I cant get mine to brown on top though? Maybe its the cheese I used or? Maybe I should put it on broil for a few minutes? Hmm, will have to try it when I make it again lol, Carm

Scott Tilley

Funnnnny stuff.


Thanks so much for the recipe. I was looking for a kick-*ss recipe for today's dinner (Christmas Day).

BTW, I'm glad you realized that you deserve better friends than Dick and Jane. :)


OMG!!!!! You would have to be the nicest person I have ever even heard of, no one i know is even close to having the ability to endure that whole diatribe for that long, not even my sweet 79 year old great aunt!

You truly are a gracious host to have overlooked that sadism for as long as you did without telling her to stick a piece of chocolate cake in her pie hole, or to lose your #. Common courtesy is what you can expect from others, but respect isn't something someone can demand from others it is something that is earned and needs to be given to recieve.

I only question why her friendship was so important to you that you continued to try so hard to maintain this friendship after the first blow out? When it was crystal clear she did not feel any remorse and never even felt a proper appology was in order... I find it hard to believe as warm, hospitable, sharing (of recipes & thoughts lol)as you come accross in ur blog that you have a shortage of friends! What was the draw to her and the clear abuse you chose to tolerate from someone you treated as a friend

If your draw to her and her over the top rude and ridiculous behavior and expectations was because your husband and you enjoyed other aspects of the friendship when it was not pertaining to the menu... I can understand why it may have seemed petty in the beginning... but all of your alarms were ringing way prior to the fan changing,furniture rearranging,arriving a day early, bacon and egg cooking,stomping around over casserole vs. potato, asking you to stay home from ur own cabin, your health failing, and her vomit face over the potatos O'Brien finale!! We are talking months here Glenna!!!

Well... I did not intend to get long winded but I'm gonna lol!!.. without knowing her, sight unseen only knowing she is 45, thin, obnoxious, hypercritical, one menu making, and seemingly as insecure as they come... As insecure and wrong as she made you feel about ur menu selections... the reality is that you intimidated her more than you could ever imagine...

1. You are a bigger girl than she is and being the insecure person that she is, she loved that... but she hated the fact that you have the ability to cook really well, are experimental and that her husband most likely raved about the meals you made and wanted her to get recipes from you to make them at home... Something that is not her forte.. she cooked what she liked and he was not allowed to "critisise".

In her defense she may be a picky eater (I have 2 really picky brothers). But she still didn't want "Dick" to start expecting her to prepare him things she was not willing to make because it was not what she wanted, or maybe yours may be better even if she did try, not a chance she was willing to take.

2. She was resentful that you, the bigger girl could cook better, entertain better, has what seems to her a more attentative husband, other friends, was the one with the cabin and pontoon, and did all hospitable planning and hostess duties... she feels that she deserves everything you have and then some because she is thinner. There is a lot of resentment there on her part. As it sounds things were a lot more tolerant between you prior to the cabin... in her mind, what you have... she deserves more than you do because she is thinner and more aggressive. Sad but true, she most likely feels that way.

3. "Dick" either goes by the nickname of "hen pecked", or the motto "cheaper to keep"her"! Only you would know that answer based on what you know of them... either way... a SAD reality on his part. Poor guy, he must have done something really wrong once upon a time to be stuck with that miaserable b**ch!

4. I am neither a really thin woman nor a thick woman. 3 years ago I was 125 lbs. Now I am 140 lbs. @ 5'8" and 38 years old. I have never been on a diet or care about calories, I have not been gaining recently, so this must be my body size unless I decide to diet and excercize. I am not a picky eater... but would say a particuliar eater if that makes sense (if I don't like it I was taught to take a "no thank you helping" to be polite)... My weight may fluxuate over the next several years, it may not...I wont concern myself with that until the day comes... But speaking from my personal experiences, I have thin friends and I have thick friends and what I have observed is that for the most part... my thicker friends have the most stabile marriages, are organizers for the majority of the food oriented get togethers, are more laid back, upbeat and fun to be around.. and my thinner friends are the least happy in their relationships because they tend to be more critical of theirselves and others. If they are dieters being thin and what size they wear is extremely important to them. Although they have friends that may be heavy or don't watch their weight, it is always in the back of their minds as to why or how that friend can be happy without trying to take a few pounds off. For them thin equals happier! Again this has been my experience I know that is not the case for all thin people.

Whether i am right or wrong pertaining to my insight on ur situation... you have it all over her and you have wasted your time, energy, and the remorse I feel you have experienced over the loss of this friendship that was clearly one sided.

Believe me the best weight you have ever lost was the dead weight of that woman in your life. And the one thing that she craves more than her broccoli rice casserole is the high she got off bullying you. She has no one that will give her that time of day or tolerance anymore, except for poor "Dick"... Deep down she regrets losing your friendship and the perks that came along with it. After all she put you through and you put up with I am sure she was in shock when you had finally had enough. Trust me she will not find that tolerance for as long as she did from a friend ever again. Please don't invite this woman back into your life again for any reason.

In conclusion I am looking forward to this new recipe I love me some scalloped potatoes and this one sounds great!



I made these for Easter and they truly are the best scalloped potatoes ever! They were a big hit. I used the havarti and will be hesitant to try anything else, it was so good!


I will have to try this recipe! I came here from google for the recipe, but I really do like the story you added at the end. What an eye-opener! I'm not from the south but I was also raised to be a 'good girl' and please everybody. I've also learned the hard way! Glad "Jane" is out of your life now. And thanks for sharing this recipe! I plan to try it today.


OMG. Your story actually sounds a lot with a "BFF" I had. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that crap happens to. Someone even warned me about being friends with her...so much for listening to warnings. Glad you got out of it like me :)


I appreciate everyone's comments and support on this. Funny, it happened so long ago so that now most of the emotion has gone away but, I admit, there still lingers a bit of the disgust with myself for letting it go on so long instead of confronting it and getting rid of the problem.

Glenna Muse


Hey thanks for commenting! I was just thinking about this situation the other day when I got an
email from the husband. It's been so long now that most of the emotion is gone from the situation
but I still feel a little disgusted with myself for having let myself be treated that way for so

You know what I mean? Do you still have to see the BFF in your life?

And no, I have no desire at all to be close to these folks again. Thankfully, they moved out of
state and that makes it easy not to see them!!!


K ross

Holy Mary Mother of God, can you rant! wow! I hear you girl. that woman is a nasty bitch. i've been through a few of thoes situations myself, although I've not had the patients you had, i think we could be friends, I get you. Kathy


LOL! Thanks K!


I am making this today for Thanksgiving, as I made it last year after the discovery. I love this recipe, thank you for sharing it.


Oh my word I laughed out loud. You are wonderfully clever in your writing and it appears also your recipes. I ran into your column looking for a scalloped potato recipe...and now I have one thank you. I love your sense of humour. I will be back here often.


My comment is the same as most.... came upon your recipe and read the article. Oh my gosh did I not only laugh outloud but found myself analyzing my very rude and picky family. Jane is a an incredible mixture of my husbands family...ooh , and shhhh... a couple of mine. lol. You made my day and - need to publish your article!!!!! Really, it made me feel so good that I wasn't the only one who grins and bares it. I cannot wait to try the potatos.... maybe I'll serve them to my mother-in - law who would never touch a potato!!!


Thanks, Kelly! It's amazing how a little venting can turn something that made me so mad at the time into something that I can heartily laugh about now! And yes, WE ALL have them in our families!!!! hee hee


Sounds great. Can it be made ahead of time? THX


Absolutely! It's great for holidays because you can make it up the night before and then bake it when you need to.


Wow...you put up with things a LOT longer than I would have. That's probably a tribute to how much nicer you are than I. Suffice it to say, the next time you will probably spot one like this in the first few sessions and then run like crazy! But I do know how it is when you really love someone. You give them all kinds of chances. And you grieve when the relationship can't make it. I am an artist and I notice the artistic profession seems to have plenty of these types going on....over the top, irrational, etc,.


You're right. I will take much less time next time to act but at the same time I do grieve the relationship! Thanks for commenting and for understanding the complexity of the situation.



I had a "friend" much like yours. So nasty in the name of "friendship" and having a good time together. These people are sick -- You, are not. Please don't beat yourself up over the length of time and the amount of abuse you endured. An adult will do this -- to the very end -- to make sure and give all benefits of doubt. Your friend showed her true colors, no getting around it. Like your friend, mine also had a husband who supported her abuse. All-in-all? Imho, these people are psychopaths "pretending" to have feelings and wanting friends. You noticed how they didn't want you in your own cabin, so they could do as they pleased and enjoy it. It wasn't about relationships, it was about what you could provide for them... really sick.

You are so beautiful, I am sure she was simply jealous of you, too.

Thank you for your scalloped potato recipe! I made the same out of my head except a touch marjoram instead of thyme & I "thought" about the chicken broth, but left it out LOL... Next time, I'll follow yours to a T!

PS: My husband and myself would love to have a friends like you!

Love, e


Yum - These really are the best scalloped potatoes ever. Thanks for the recipe.


Looked these up again as I have made them before and they truly are the best. Making them again tonight. Read your story again and it makes me laugh so much. I know it is not really amusing to be in that situtation but you sure have a great way of telling in. I think a lot of us have been there before. Sounds like you know some of my family who we do not associate with anymore and they think we did THEM wrong. I'd love to see your ex friends in the same room with them. Great post : )


Jody, I'm so glad you like them too. They really are fabulous. I will never use any other recipe again to make these. So good. You know, it's been so many years that it no longer makes me mad. I still laugh when I occasionally read this, and it was certainly theraputic to write, but I miss those folks. I really did and do love them but it was just a bad situation that I enabled and I take full responsibility for. I've learned a lot thorugh this situation and others and am not quite the doormat I used to be AND I've gotten better about confrontation. NOW, I would have stopped it early on and just said "Look, you're being really rude. Either stop it or we stop hanging out." And then they could have made that choice. People are funny, though, aren't they? They will push as hard as they can get away with. I've also learned that. In the last couple of years I've come to see that when I stand up for myself or simply say "no" to something, that doesn't make me a bad friend or a bad person, but when the person who's taking advantage acts like you owe them...that's a reflection of their friendship for me.




I'd like to try these for Christmas. Would the recipe turn out okay if I did the parboiling, assembling in a baking pan, and covering with cheese steps on one day, then wrapped them up in the refrigerator to be baked the next day?


Kerry--You can absolute do them ahead of time and then bake them off later. Just lengthen your baking time to account for them having been in the fridge.

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