If it Weren't for Being White Trash, my Family Would Have No Color at All

So I talked to my sister last night...the mean grandma called her and left a message saying "I don't know what you've heard but....yada yada....we were wondering if you were going to let us have Kaylee for Christmas since we have gifts already bought,  and please tell her that Grandpa and I love her."

Hmmmm....things that make you say "WTF?" which is exactly what my sister and I were both saying.

Here's what I know:  I know that my former S-I-L and her mother are both liars and love to stir up shit.  Neither of them knows about this blog and even if they did I'd still say it out loud because it's true.  They're both drama queens and they both love to get people all upset and mad.  You know what I mean? I really think there are people in this world who thrive on starting trouble and watching sparks fly.  I've also personally, over the years, been through this kind of thing over and over again with them.  The S-I-L would always try to get us mad at our brother, which I realize is pretty common among divorced couples, but I'd also hear through the gravpevine (our hometown is very small) that she'd say that I or my sister did this or said that and we'd be like "What?"  That kind of crap would catch us completely off guard.

The mother was the same way. Since the day my brother married into that family, the mother was constantly saying that I said this or I said that, including, get this:  she called DFS on my brother and his wife something like 14 times, every time she'd get mad at my brother, and then when he and his former wife questioned who was calling DFS saying they were bad parents she'd tell them that I told her confidentially that I did it, and wasn't I a big bitch.  The punchline was she had called ME a month before that bragging about how she'd called DFS and how that was going to get them back in line to her way of thinking....yada yada yada.  I mean, come on, that's a pretty brazen lie, don't you think?

When my brother confronted me I busted out laughing right before I started cussing.  What a sociopath she is!  My response to my brother?  "uhhhh...dude....I'm your older sister. You've known me your whole life.  If I had a problem with your parenting do you think I'd go behind your back and anonymously call the state or, knowing me, do you think I'd be in your face telling you you're screwing up?  Seriously. You know me."

So that ended that.  I've never had a problem being an advocate for my nieces and nephew and, quite frankly, my brother and sister have often thanked me for standing up for them even if they didn't like what I was saying.  Our mom was bipolar (we think--she was never formally diagnosed).  Childhood wasn't easy on us in many ways but nobody stood up for us.  My brother and sister both knew that would be the deal when they had kids.  They know how strongly I feel about this.

So anyway, enough about that.  Just an example of the "stirring up shit" factor going on in that part of the ex-family.

I told my sister just to keep telling Grandma that she doesn't know what happened because she wasn't there but that her main focus is Kaylee.  The truth is Kaylee doesn't want to go to her Grandma's. We'll see how she feels in a month.  Kaylee herself is the one who cried in my sister's arms the first night saying "My Grandma told me I'm a brat and she doesn't love me anymore and that I have to leave."  She didn't say "Mom told me that..." she said "My Grandma told me." 

Who do you think we believe?

Kids have imaginations but at eight I just don't believe this is all being made up by my S-I-L as the Grandma is now trying to convince my sister.   That was one little thing.  Kaylee has told my sister several very specific mean things her Grandma said and did.  Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think the Grandma is all bad. She did take Kaylee and her mom in and took care of Kaylee for at least a year but what I do think happened is that Grandma got frustrated with her daughter for still being there and Kaylee probably was acting like and eight year old and wasn't doing her chores and being a kid pain in the butt and that instead of acting like an adult, old hag Grandma lost her temper and acted like a white trash bitch. That's what I think.  I think the situation got completely out of control but now that Grandma's cooled down she only sees the whole thing as "well I was upset but I'm not mad now so don't hold my words against me".  The problem with that kind of thinking, and I've known other people who don't hold themselves accountable for anything they say in the heat of anger, is that it's easy to say "I didn't mean it" when you're the one throwing the ugly words around, but the people who take it can't forget it. When the takee is an 8-year-old child they're forever marked by it.

What matters is Kaylee. She's safe, she's happy, and oh.  By the way, she has the chicken pox.  Wow, my sister really took on the world in one fell swoop, didn't she?  I'm laughing because I can't even help. Kaylee can't go back to school for over a week but she can't stay with us and I can't be around her because Gene's never had chicken pox. So, the good news is, her daddy (our brother) who works nights will come straight from work to take care of Kaylee while my sister works days.

Isn't life a trip?

And in other news:  NANNIE UPDATE:  Nannie and her pinned hip are doing great and they'll be able to send her home (nursing home) today or tomorrow.  She's not verbal at all which is a natural progression of the Alzheimer's but she does smile and lean her face to the sun while she's up in that chair during the day. The hospital (not my hospital, btw) has been great, everyone from the nurses to the surgeon to the anesthesiologist who only did a spinal block instead of tubing her (my biggest concern) have been phenomenal.

Comments

[keepbreathing]

Every family has one...sorry trouble's been brewed.

Good news about your grandmother though!

[Glenna]

Thanks! I hate thinking that the kids might grow up thinking this is the way grownups are supposed to behave....

[Colleen]

I've been reading with baited breath. I had to call Auntie Miranda on Sunday night to tell her I've been reading your blog so we gossiped for awhile.

I'm so sorry for all the crap Kaylee has to go through right now. I am so thankful though that you guys are all rallying around her and helping to get her on the right foot again. Right now is when she needs you all the most - to reassure her and listen to her and just love her unconditionally. I'm really glad your brother is getting to spend more time with her too - he seems like a pretty cool Dad to have.

And Yay for Nanny! I'll let Matt know, sometimes I read your blog to him at night after you've posted some family news. So - since Auntie Miranda is in TX this week, are any of you guys checking in on PJ at all?

TTYL! Happy Early Thanksgiving too - that's coming up for you guys soon right?

[Glenna]

Thanks for your support, Colleen. I really appreciate it and I'll let Suzanne know you're thinking about her. I love the part that you called Aunti to gossip. That made me giggle!

Yes, our Thanksgiving is Thursday the 27th but since three of us have to work, the family party is at noon on Saturday, the 29th.

We'll miss you guys!!!!