Okay, so yes, I complained about rude people in Vegas earlier this week but guess what? I'm not going to do that anymore. This time I'm going to complain about rude people right here in River City, I mean, home, good ole' Springfield, Misery where we all pride ourselves on being so damn friendly and God-fearin' nicey nice.
By the way, if the cussing offends you, stop reading now because I'm going to type it the way I think it. If you don't mind the NC-17 rating on this blog that, give me credit, I rarely really use, then read on, McDuff. One of the things I like about THIS blog is that I pretty much brain to keyboard it so you get the good, the bad, and the cranky of me. If you want the Shiny Happy Glenna, I don't mind at all if you click on over to the food blog: A Fridge Full of Food.
Yeah. Yeah. The rude people walking all over me in Vegas continued but ho-hum. What are ya gonna do, right? Other than I didn't stop for people anymore and you really don't know how fun it is to slam into rude assholes until you've done it a few times and then ignore them, staring straight ahead as if they don't exist, just like they do to me. I gotta say, it made me giggle a couple of times.
Then on the plane, Gene and I went with the flock when the minute they started boarding people with children we moved in to the gate. Normally, we sit and wait until they call for priority boarding, which we usually are, but by then everyone has already crammed around the gate and we end up being one of the last on board with no overhead storage for the computer. And we're PRIORITY. It's a small thing but it's annoying, just like the men (sorry guys but it's always MEN) who immediately jump up into the aisles the second the plane pulls up to the gate, grab their stuff from the overheads, and then stand in the aisles allowing no one else to get out, and refuse to disembark by rows like, oh I don't know, people who AREN'T ASSHOLES would do.
I'm tired of that too so this time I saw it coming. The two men around me were up and in the aisle with their stuff...I was in the aisle seat for me and Gene so I led with my carry-on that I store under the seat, sandwiching it between those two guyes. Then I just kept inching the guy to the rear back enough I could get a leg into the aisle, and then my whole body...then I literally put my ass against the carry on of that guy standing behind me and pushed him back inch by inch until I had enough space for Gene to get out ahead of me. When we disembarked we let all of the rows in front of us who had gotten hemmed in and not let out--out!!! (Except for one woman with a kid who sat there, I'm assuming she either gave up or wanted to wait.)
I felt like fucking Rocky! A triumph over the assholes. Assholes, being like ORCS only with better clothing, except for the guy in micro shorts and no tan who could light up the state with those white thighs. Geez, dude. Buy new shorts or some no-sun tanning lotion.
Now here's the culmination of our trip:
We pay to leave our car at one of the rental car lots. It's cheaper, we think it's safer, and they give shuttle service to and from the airport, you just have to let them know at the airport desk when you arrive so they can radio the shuttle.
Easy enough.
We got our bags, notified the rental car desk we were home and needed the ride, and went out to the shuttle pick-up spot on the sidewalk. We saw the van entering the airport about 5-10 minutes later. Just as the girl pulled up in a regular mini-van marked "Thrifty", a party of six people walked out from baggage claim area and started handing their luggage to the gal driving the shuttle. She looked really surprised. She said "I didn't bring the big shuttle. I was told there were only two people. I can only take five people. I'll have to come back for the rest."
They were all a family. It looked like Grandma and Grandpa, a married couple who had to be the older people's children (with a baby), and another adult. I don't even remember exactly what "Grandma" said to shuttle driver but they were shoving their luggage and asses into the van. I don't know about Gene but my fucking mouth dropped. Literally. They knew we were there first. Grandma had looked me in the eye before motioning her family to get in the van. The driver still looked confused. They piled all their butts in the van and Grandma, as the door was shut, said not very nicely "She'll be back to get you." Neither Gene nor I said a word but neither of us looked away either. We stared right at them the entire time they loaded, when she said that to us, and as they struggled to close the van door around the stroller. We didn't move a muscle to help them close the door.
She'll come back and get us? Yeah? You say "tomato", I say "Fuck you, ya old bitch."
Here's the deal. They had a baby and they were all together. Had any one of them turned to us and said "Hey, we know you were first but do you mind if we stay together?" We would have IMMEDIATELY said "Go on. Please. You have a baby. It's not a problem." Unlike those rude assholes, Gene and I are usually pretty laid back and nice. The one thing that chaps our asses more than anything on the planet is that kind of rude, offensive behavior.
But we're not doormats either. We stared them down. The only one who had the decency to look at us was the mother of the baby. She looked me right in the eye and her face was full of guilt. Not one of the others would even look at us except Grandma who told us the gal would be back for us. No shit, Grandma? Really? How nice of you to allow them to come back for us, the people who were there first and WEREN'T assholes like you and your family and demand that your party be split up because we could have. I was thinking about it. The baby stopped me. Had those people been all adults I would have stepped in and said "Hold on to your Depends, Granny. We called first and we were here first. You'll be waiting on YOUR last two people since you're being such a dickwad."
As the van pulled out I said to Gene, "All that luggage and I bet they won't even tip her." Gene laughed and said "And I bet they go to church every Sunday and tell everybody what great Christians they are."
Well, we'll never know the last one but when the gal came back around SHE apologized all over the place. We told it wasn't her fault and that we didn't really care that they went first, it was just the manner in which they did it. She told us that once they were all in the van she asked them "Did you let the desk know you were here?" The answer was "no". She asked them who was first out to the sidewalk, them or us, AND THEY ADMITTED THAT WE WERE THERE FIRST BUT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT. Grandma told her that it didn't matter because this is a big town and the odds are a million to one that they'd ever even see us again so who cares.
I got a big laugh out of that one. Hmmmm...big town...emphasis on TOWN. I cracked up when the gal told us that because my first thought was the fantasy of, if I'd heard her say it, getting to ask the old biddy "Which of the ONLY TWO major hospitals in town is your insurance with, you old bat?" Because, you know, everybody goes to one of the two and that puts her odds of never running into me again not quite the longshot she was secure in. Not that I would ever be unprofessional but I will remember that woman's face for a while and I would laugh my fucking ass off if I saw them at my hospital some time in the next few months. I would never be out and out rude or give less than my best care, but I am smartass enough in my old age to laugh in their faces and say something like "Hey! I remember you! You're the ones who stole our shuttle and said the odds were a million to one you'd ever see me again. Guess you lost that bet, huh? Hope your luck was better in Vegas."
But hey, what the hell. Am I upset? No, not really. I was annoyed until we got home but now I'm just laughing about how people can be so weird and not what you expect. I love the scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere says "People never surprise me." and Julia Roberts says "That's funny because they shock the shit out of me all the time." Yup. Me too. Even people who are dressed nice, look nice, look like ordinary everyday people I know and love, can still be humongous jerks.
You want to know the best part? The whole time it happened I was thinking "Oh hell, this is going to be so much fun to blog!!!!!!"
So thank you hateful people for giving me opportunity to use you as a straight line and let's move on. Let's recap the rest of the day. 0400 is frigging early when you're looking at it from the alarm side instead of the "oh hey, let's go pull blood gases and we're almost out of here" side, but McCarran is an efficient airport and Allegiant is always a good ride. They're the cheapest fare in town, no stop overs in dreaded Dallas (shudder), and for the pleasure of the nice seats and a crew who are friendly and actually seem to like their jobs and seem to want to be there, I don't mind paying for a soda if I want to drink one. Most of the time I'd rather sleep.
We're home, we're hungry, we're ordering pizza and then going to go through the stack of mail and voice mails. More about Vegas later.
Psssstt...by the way...not only did Granny Panties-in-a-Twist's family NOT tip the shuttle driver, they expected her to not only get their luggage out of her van, they wanted her to arrange and rearrange it in the back of their van. She told them she didn't have time because she had other people to pick up, remember? That last part made me laugh even more. So even though Granny Hateful told us they'd be right back for us, even then, she would have tied up the shuttle driver with all of their luggage duty with no thought of the people they'd screwed over and left waiting. Okay, so MOST of the people in the Ozarks are friendly, genuine, and nice. Those people? Not so much.
