Change of Scenery

Worked the first half of this stretch with barely two cells of my brain focusing.  What can I say?  I haven't been sleeping well so I think I need to go back into the units for a few nights before I have a come--to--Jesus with one ward in particular over fluid overload. Usually I love A&T because that puts me on the code team, CAT (critical assessment) team, picking up new, and running intervention with floor pts.  My goal every night is to keep people OUT of the units.

But the last couple of nights have been tense.  From me. Admittedly, nothing has really changed except my patience level.  I think I just need a break.  I remember saying to Chris at one point after another ugly code "I'm really fucking tired of watching people die". I'm also a little burned out on being called to assess patients with fluid overload.  Most of the time I'm okay.  I even welcome it just because I know that I can, again, intervene and make sure the patient gets treated but these last couple of days have been rough. I've been on the edge of sarcasm in the least "Didja even LOOK at the patient before you called me?"  and basically a screaming F-bomb meltdown in the extreme.

I say that but I'm exaggerating. I would never have the meltdown on the floor but I would pity whomever among my friends gets stuck listening to me vent behind closed doors.

But.  I also slept yesterday and last night so when I go back tonight, no matter where I am, I'm thinking I'll be fine.  Even on my beloved A&T.  :-)

Comments

[sher]

Well, lack of sleep really brings a person down. I know that! And I can't imagine watching people die a lot. That has to be a drain emotionally, no matter how many times you try to put it in persepctive. I hope you smooth things out for yourself. Hugs.

[Lynn]

Hmm, and I was just wondering how your week of work has been going. . .especially after such a wonderful weekend last weekend. Now I know - going back to the real life sometimes sucks, doesn't it. Hang in there girlie! Lynn H.